TUMBLR TALKING IN ALL CAPS

I REALLY DON’T GET IT.

WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE EIGHT YEARS OLD.

I WAS THERE WHEN STACY JENNISON STOOD YOU UP AT PROM.

YOU WERE BY MY SIDE WHEN I THOUGHT I HAD TESTICULAR CANCER. YOU DIDN’T MAKE A SINGLE JOKE.

WE DRIFTED APART BUT RECONNECTED AFTER THE TEN YEAR REUNION, AND WE EVEN HANG OUT WITH EACH OTHER’S FAMILIES OVER THE HOLIDAYS.

YOU ACTUALLY HELPED ME MOVE ONCE.

I GAVE THE SPEECH AT YOUR WEDDING BECAUSE YOUR CRACKHEAD BROTHER WAS TOO OUT OF IT, EVEN AS ‘BEST MAN,’ TO BOTHER DOING IT.

HELL, YOU’RE THE BROTHER I NEVER HAD.

SO…

STOP IGNORING MY FARMVILLE REQUESTS YOU SON OF A BITCH.